I love water parks, but I’ll never go to Schlitterbahn again

On one of those overcast hot and humid summer days when the rain comes and goes, I spent a day at Schlitterbahn water park with 10-year-old Micah.

I don’t see him and his parents — my old friends — that often. But ever since he was a baby, I’ve treated him like my nephew: indulgently.

I bought him his first Jordans before he could walk. He used to snuggle up to a red lion blanky I gave him. We watched “Cars” together.

So at Schlitterbahn that day in 2016 I floated some with my grown-up friends, but Micah

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